Now I should probably be clear about my goals. I don’t buy into the traditional type of New Year’s resolutions, the kind that are lofty and noble or the kind that are supposed to sculpt you into better version of yourself. For instance, I like beer and I’m not a quitter, so I will NOT be cutting back my beer intake in 2019. And while I probably could lose a few pounds, Bunny assures me I’m a stone-cold fox, so I won’t be starving myself and drinking kale smoothies in 2019, either ;) There is no need for a Trav 2.0, folks, the original model is working just fine for me.
I’m not saying I’m perfect, I do have goals and some things I want to work on. However, I think I’m more of an UN-resolution guy. The things on my list probably don’t mirror anyone else’s and that’s okay. I’m a realist, I know that I’m not going to single handedly achieve world peace so, I’m setting the bar at a reasonable height. When everyone else is giving up on January 12th and binge eating to console themselves, I’ll be busy smashing my UN-resolutions. Here they are:
- Eat more bacon.
Seriously, if you don’t like bacon, we can’t be friends. I don’t care if it’s good for the waistline or not. The good news is, I’m not trying to achieve a “beach body” and I have a closet full of camo. Why does camo matter? Good question - camo is awesome at disguising and breaking up your outline, so nobody will know that I’ve been sneaking a couple extra pieces at breakfast. Fact: bacon makes me a happier and nicer person.
- Get the recommended eight hours of sleep in ONE night (instead of collectively over 5 days).
I don’t think I’ve had a full night sleep in about 11 years. Instead, I try to string together random 20-40-minute cat naps in between kids crawling on my bed, guitar practice, phones ringing, my wife snoring, early morning hunting alarms, Nerf gun battles and quite possibly the worst scenario yet, waking up to the sound of my dog or better yet, both of my dogs, barfing next to the bed. Sleep is a luxury at my house, hopefully one I’ll get to experience in 2019.
- Stop putting myself in situations where I have to use the badger hole as a bathroom while I’m hunting.
Honestly, the struggle is real, IBS is a pain in the elbow. I’ve looked down more badger holes than I’d like to admit to make sure a hidden monster won’t be tearing up my backside while I take care of business. That’s why I never go hunting without a roll of toilet paper in my pack or pocket. I’m sure that there are probably dietary triggers that make IBS worse, but I haven’t really pinpointed those. If you try to tell me that bacon is one of those triggers and screw up my UN-Resolution #1, well then, you’ve got another thing coming. I’ll gladly sit on any badger hole for crispy delicious bacon.
- Grow a beard like Kip Campbell
I’m not a guy that can wear a clean-shaven look. My wife, Bunny, jokes she’ll divorce me if I shave my facial hair. Honestly, without a beard or at least a sizable goatee I look like half my face is missing, like something ripped off my lower mandible. I shaved once, several years ago, and my kids didn’t recognize me, my dogs barked like I was a stranger and my wife didn’t find me quite as attractive. Needless to say, I haven’t used a blade on my face since. So, in 2019, I’m looking to improve on the perfection that is my face, double down on the scruff. I want to grow a beard like Kip Campbell’s. You know, he’s the guy from “Red Arrow TV” on Outdoor Channel, the only one on the show with a stellar beard. That’s right, 2019 is the year of the whisker, there is no such thing as too much facial hair.
Fact: This doesn’t apply to backs. If your back looks like a bear rug, you may want to do something about it :-)
With any luck, I’ll have all of these knocked out by February, March at the latest, and then I’ll have more time to devote to hunting, fishing, grilling, camping, working and hanging out with my family. High-fives for realistic UN-resolutions, 2019 is going to rock!
In all sincerity, you don’t have to wait until it’s a brand-new year to get something done or to start working toward something, January 1st is just a date, like any other day of the year. Every day is a good day to be productive, don’t wait for an obscure date that comes around just once a year to get the ball rolling. Set some goals now, crush them, and then set new ones. Get outside, hunt, fish and spend more time outdoors in 2019. Mentor a kid, get them outside, take them camping, grill some burgers and hotdogs - whatever it is, just get them outdoors. The time is going to pass anyway, you might as well spend it doing something meaningful.
Hugs, Handshakes and Happy New Year